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Pathway to Conflict— the 5 steps towards conflict or a fight

Saturday, March 30, 2024 1:32 PM | André Salvage (Administrator)

Trauma State of Mind

I call this first stage the trauma state of mind. We’ve all experienced days where we’ve continuously led with our ego—that protective wall—due to some unresolved lack, loss, hurt, fear, pain, hunger, or even sleepiness.

When we are in this mindset, we are internally in conflict, and even though there’s a part of you that knows you should stay home, we still venture out like a walking time bomb ready to explode.


The next stepping stone to conflict is that life happens. Situations in and of themselves do not lead to conflict, but if you are carrying the burden of prior trauma and your present situation manifests a loss or even hints at the potential for a loss, your ego-protected mindset connects to and magnifies the present situation and can lead to conflict—especially if you get triggered.


Being triggered is reflexively reacting internally to the perceived negative life situation we’ve magnified in our minds. When you are pissed off, all life situations remind you of the trauma that caused your current mindset. Being triggered can precipitate a significant emotional response.


When we get triggered, feelings that are often bigger than we can manage arise. These feelings amplify the feeling we left the house with and often overwhelm us. To release these feelings, we take another step.


The final step to beginning a conflict is expression. We act on the feelings triggered by the situation that our mindset said was dangerous— and usually aim our words or actions at others. We’ve completed the pathway to conflict or a fight.

Later I'll be writing about ways to disrupt this pathway and the tools you use to stop the conflict before reaching the end of the path.

©André Salvage 1979-2024. All rights reserved.


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